This past year I’ve felt like I needed to expand into something MORE authentic and real and messy and sometimes uncomfortable because I think we’re all a little tired and bored of trying to fit into a box we aren’t made of. So I had to do some soul searching and figure out what was motivating me to want to be in that box. A HUGE part of growth is UNLEARNING. It’s pretty much a 50/50 deal. I’m a big believer that you need to let go of the mindset that is keeping you where you are AND call in a new one to replace it.
To allow this shift to have it’s biggest impact on my life, I thought about the areas that needed the most attention. I was chatting with a client about this and used the example of cleaning out your closet. You have to go through it and evaluate what feels like it’s your style and what doesn’t and decide if there are a few holes you need to fill to make each outfit work for you. I thought about the places where I’m holding myself back and what stories were keeping me there so I could let go of them.
The first word I’m letting go of is “perfect".
I used to struggle with perfectionism HARD. Not in the “Everything must be perfect Type A” kind of way that most people think of. But in the “I’ll never be perfect so why even try?” mindset. I wouldn’t try new things in fear that I would fail. It was a very all or nothing mindset that kept me stuck.
As humans we have this fear of imperfection- in whatever form that looks like to YOU. But thats the thing, perfection is completely made up in your own head. You’ve decided what perfect is and that you can’t reach that goal.
We are all imperfect, and how WONDERFUL is that?!
So, I’m replacing this word “FLOW”. Flow to me is the opposite of perfection. It’s finding that groove where your energy is high and you’re living according to your purpose. There’s no force or fear. You flow like water through your day, accomplishing your goals with a constant faith in yourself that guides you forward. Flow means listening to your intuition and separating the “ I shoulds” from the “I desire to”.
The next word i’m letting go of is “lifestyle”.
The world is obsessed with creating a perfect lifestyle right now. There seems to be this ideal checklist of things we should be doing every single day in order for us to say that we are thriving or successful or taking care of yourselves. Here’s the thing. Doing the things is completely meaningless if you aren’t focusing on nourishing your heart and soul. That’s why I’m calling in the word “Intention”. Ideal lifestyle isn’t the same for everyone! How you choose to nourish and care for yourself is completely personal. Completing the same thing every single day like clockwork regardless of how you’re feeling or what you need is not going to create the self connection and nourishment you’re looking for because you aren’t honouring where you’re at in that moment. Your lifestyle is a combination of your habits and wants and needs and how you act on those wants and needs. This is where the idea of intentionally living has SO much much behind it because you are actively choosing how to bring your desires to life and what that looks like for YOU.
The last word I’m letting go of is “Discipline”.
Discipline for Disciplines sake is not fulfilling. Don’t get me wrong, Discipline is a great tool to create new habits and new routines and keep yourself on track and focused when you need it. But discipline is now associated with forcing yourself to do something. This doesn’t consider if that thing is in alignment with you, if it’s actually making a difference in your life or evolving you to where you want to be. If you’re getting NOTHING out of your daily meditation and have no idea why you’re doing it in the first place. Find something else that enriches your day-to-day or helps shift your mindset to where it needs to be! I’m calling in the word “commitment”. Shifting to committing to yourself give your the freedom to do what you need to do in order to achieve your goals and feed good! This can look like putting yourself first, setting boundaries or trusting your intuition. Lets think about morning routines as an example. Your morning routine has a checklist of things you HAVE to accomplish each day, every day, no matter what. Commit to spending time with yourself each morning instead of having a rigid and maybe uninspiring morning. Sometimes I need to dance around and put make up on as a way to energize myself in the morning, other times I want to meditate and journal so I can connect with myself on a deeper level, and there are some mornings when all I want to do is work because the creative juices are flowing and I want to honour that part of me! I commit to listening to my body and intuition instead of enforcing a discipline for disciplines sake.
Allow yourself to be different and authentic and connected to YOURSELF by decided what serves you and what doesn’t. YOU get to honour that connection and structure your day and create beautiful routines for yourself. Being yourself and being happy is WAY more fulfilling than checking boxes - Don’t be afraid to be YOURSELF.