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Fake It Til You Make It?



This phrase has been on my heart lately. I’ve read lots of contradicting information on whether you should fake it til you make it when it comes to your lifestyle. Does it really work? Does this motto produce real, lasting change? Do you actually end up “Making it”? Just the word “fake” is dishonest and insincere, which definitely leaves me with an icky feeling. Why would I approach a new goal (that’s supposed to change my life) this way? 


As a coach, I know that your starting point and discovering where you REALLY are right now is the most important part of success. If you don’t know where you are, you won’t know what step one is. There’s a reason you aren’t achieving your goals; there’s a reason you are where you are and that a better life is calling you. Do you know what it is? 


Here’s the thing, if you just jump head first into change without actually considering WHY you want it - it remains surface level. Let’s say you want to have a healthier lifestyle or lose weight. You can picture the end goal, you can visualize yourself energetically running off to spin class, smoothie in hand, in leggings that show off your super toned legs. You know the “make it”. So it should be easy to “fake it” right? Tomorrow morning you can start faking it and scoot on over to boot camp and cut out carbs. But it’s not that easy. 


This habit-forming technique doesn’t consider where your mindset is and where your attention is coming from. “Fake it til you make it” is fear based. It has an underlying ultimatum right in it. Keep going until you succeed - no matter what. Not even the slightest loving undertone. 

Your “WHY” behind your goals sets you up for success. Losing weight or having a healthier lifestyle may be good for you, but it’s a small part of the bigger picture. This is where you should ask yourself why you want what you want. Why do I want to lose weight? What will a healthy lifestyle bring me? 


Faking it - or going through the motions - won’t last because your heart isn’t in it. Your heart isn’t the driving force behind your transformation. Instead, your mind is calling the shot and your mindset is centred around “who cares if it’s not real- it’ll at least look like I’m doing it”. What is this REALLY changing? 


This kind of thinking isn’t aligned with you true and highest Self. Your desire for change isn’t coming from a genuine place of wanting more for yourself because you deserve it, it’s coming from a fear-based mindset that you SHOULD be doing things differently. Change doesn’t happen unless you really, deeply want it. 


If you achieve your goal by faking it - what will you have learned? That you can pretend to do something for 3 weeks? That you can trick yourself? That your ego runs the show?

If you fail - will you have learned anything? Will you have discovered where your resistance comes from? Will you know how to alter your approach?


There are ups and downs, ebbs and flows, to reaching your goals. Don’t demand “perfection” from yourself on the first go around. Allow yourself the room the fail and the opportunity to learn from it! That’s where true growth and permanent change comes from. 


Genuine, long lasting change comes from within. It comes from the ability to shift your mindset and alter your inner voice so it says “you deserve better, your heart wants more”. In any area of your life, your strategy has to reflect your story and your current state of mind. 


Give yourself the love and truth your heart craves. 

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Email: kbnower@gmail.com

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